Don’t go breaking my heart

3rd January

Our first game in the new year were against that dirty West London outfit. Here was another team that enjoy nothing better than giving us a spanking. Fifteen minutes into the game Morata was clean through on goal only to poke it wide. Is to be our lucky day? On the half hour mark, Jack left his mark on Cesc – he’s such a good boy, who really loves the Arsenal.

Half time 0-0, Chelsea came out the stronger of the two teams but after consecutive corners Super Jack gave us the lead. We were still celebrating when the Chavs were awarded yet again another contentious penalty. You know straight away it is an equaliser because we all know Cech so does not do penalty saves. Lacazette substituted and on comes the Welbz, five minutes later we are losiing 1-2 at home to them. Four minutes injury time BELLLLLLLLerin, yes 2-2. There was still a late scare but Morata shot saved and Zappacosta hit the crossbar and so it ended.

Four days later I was seen struggling with a crate of Stellas to St Pancras for the FA Cup tie against Nottingham Forest. Trains were delayed, weather was shit, food in this poncy Gastropub was overrated and the staff just blatantly rude. Just as I was queuing to go in to the ground one of the old boys said to me have you seen the team yet to which I replied not yet and he went it is a shit team and boy was he not wrong. I felt aggrieved, it was the third round of the FA Cup and we were the current holders. Disgraceful. The Arsenal fans were singing you come come to see the Arsenal, not keen on that song, particularly when a game is 0-0. If we are beating at team 4-0 then sing till your heart’s content. First blood to Nottingham Forest, then three minutes later it was 1-1. BFG who I think should be retired by now because I he is slower. Just before half time we are losing 2-1. Descent in the ranks are starting to show and the fans are no long harmonious. PELANTY, well of course that is all we do these days give away pens. 3-1 down, but we can still do this there is 25 minutes to go but the options on the bench were truly limited. With ten minutes to go Welbeck pulls a goal back, 3-2 the fans are starting to believe again that was until the ref pointed to the penalty spot for a second time 4-2. Forest have a man sent off, we are out of the FA Cup, the holders are out in the first time in the third round since Wenger has been our manager. The defeat upset immensely. Those useless bastards will not stop until they seriously break my heart.

10th January 2018

Three days after our whooping at Forest, I find myself for the first time in my life going to Stamford Bridge for the second part of our trilogy. I have never felt so different, awkward and uncomfortable at a football match like that before. I actually felt physically ill, standing in their dirty hovel of a stadium. I just was not enjoying the experience if though I knew deep down that I probably would not be visiting their ground again. The staff are very abrasive and it is truly an unwelcoming shithole. (Not sure on choice of description as I do not want to be put into the same mould as Trump). The game was a good defensive play but the most significant in that game is when Jack was being substituted as he was injured and his replace was to be Elneny. My first reaction was to yell out I rather play with 10 men then have him come on and that’s when it happened some condescending CU^T leaves he seat and comes up to me and said “what do I know about football?”. I said “Excuse me”. Now I don’t know what brave pill this fool had taken because he came into my face and said again “what do I know about football?”. BuddhaGooner knew, yep this man has clearly got to be a fool. I was actually very stunned, and I said, I also know about “cooking, changing the bed and other domestic duties” and then the gasket went, I mean really went, it was like I was

having an out of body experience at this bigoted fool. The stewards formed a barricade between us because even by my own admission I was in a pretty volatile state. The words emanating from me were just none stop, I don’t think I have actually been angrier at football. By the end of the match, the crazy arse guy wanted to speak to me. The dumb ass! Anyway 0-0 away at the Bridge, second leg to come, I bet some of those haters will buy tickets for that now.

14 January 2018

Away to Bournemouth, these away games are killing and I decided to give it a swerve. Thank fuck I did, bus replace and all that shit and we lost 2-1. Arsenal, come on I am dying inside, fix up and start playing with some pride.

20 January

I believe the march/protest before our game against Palace has been delayed or deferred, I believe some people are referring to it at the March of the Morons. I wonder why that was – actually I don’t, because I could not give a flying fig. Absolutely pelting down, I’m full of cold and already irritable and not only are we playing them South Londoners that are beginning to treat us with the same contempt and disdain as Watford yet I am out supporting the heartbreakers, my beloved Arsenal when deep down I know I should be on my settee with my hot water bottle. After struggling to meet Ginger James Bond, aka Moggy to many others, I had finally reached the stadium. Gutted I was still outside for the minute applause of Cyrille Regis but I have shown my respect in other ways. #RIP

Just doing a few pleasantries when everyone started cheering, damn can’t believe I got into the stadium almost on time and still missed the first goal because Dave had to get his hello kiss. Oh well, 1-0 up, good to have you back Nacho. Just settled down in someone else seats as some Hungarian Gooners were nestled quite comfortably in mine, Iwobi 2-0, not even 10 minutes. Monreal has obviously been missing his football with a great assist. WTF three minutes later 3-0 up and another assist by Monreal with the final touch coming for Koscielny. More pleasing to see is that we have scored two goals from corners, well that has not happened in a while. There seems to be a togetherness today, that seems to have been missing. What a real difference Özil is making to this game. His passing has been superb, paid a lovely back heel to Lacazette who made it 4-0. Laca needed that for his confidence. This was a breeze, Palace had got a case of stage fright. Half time game over. I could not see us have an almighty meltdown from here but we still did not keep that clean sheet and we won the game 4-1 but we seriously need to start putting in some away performances like that too.

Thank fuck it has finally happened, not sure I could have handled yet another “48 hours” of waiting for the farcical of getting Sanchez out of the door, in order for him to join up with the Slimy One. As much as I respect him as a player I am glad to see the back of him. I for one think he was behind a lot of the negativity in the club, even more so than them clowns at AFTV. Unlike my pal Makka, I certainly will not be setting up an Alexis Appreciation Society. Some may have seen him as a selfish individual who just wanted to win, whilst I saw him as a mercenary and believe only a pot of gold motivates him. Whatever side of the fence you sit, I respect your decision, but I am personally glad he has gone and the saga has finally ended. On that note welcome Mikhi, I wish you well.

Oh well the final part of the trilogy had arrived, so many regular season tickets holders still gave this a miss. The game got off to a quick start and we were allowing them to threat the ball through this looks ominous. 0-1 down; after seven minutes they were had undone us. It was not long before the man of the moment, five minutes in fact, that Nacho headed towards goal and after a quick game of head tennis between to Chelski players we were all square. 1-1. I was grateful that we went in at half time level. We started to press more, but this was the Chavs that can break down teams in an

instant. It was like they were playing with a confidence that they would not concede again and that they would go through on the away goal rule, we have been knocked out like that before if I remember correctly in a semi final. Lacazette crossed the ball only for it to deflect off a Chelski player and Xhaka reacted quickest and stuck it in the back of the onion bag, 2-1. We had a chance to go 3-1, but Iwobi needs to apply better finishing. We hung in there. We are Wembley bound where Pep and his Blue Moon army will be waiting for us on 25th February.

Forget that we are in a final there will be fans still moaning and complaining, but I am sure there are many other big teams who wish they were contesting a trophy. That’s a moan for another day.

Swansea to Sweden are my next away days.